european men are hairy

going to europe. fina-fucking-ly. o and i havn't blogged in like a million kagillion years. its funny, cause im still with the same old guy (seven months strong) and still at the same old school (i hate people still no worries) and have the same old dramatic issues. its like every day is a routine. i guess thats why im so excited to get the fudge out of here, because its finally going to be different, somewhere new, something thats out of my daily routine. an experience, if you wanna give it a name. y'know. i love being alive, but i hate not being dead. its hard to live being me, and thats not in the "ohmygawd im so great its hard to be me" way, or in the "my life stinks everyone sucks i cut myself its so hard to be me" way. its in the "what the heck am i doing with myself and why can't i catch a break, its hard to be me" way. i want to be myself, but i want to be what other people like. i hate not being social, so ive been trying to tone down on the JUSTINE IN YOUR FAYCE-ness. its tough, but i mean, such is life. you dont need to change yourself for other people, but you do need to tweak yourself if you want to be social. honey, i will never change, but i am a little more mature (when i need to be) and appropriate (when i need to be). the only thing im missing is a litle excitement. well hello hairy men, accents and good food, im going to europe in two friggen days. imagine, in 48hours ill be at an airport, waiting to get my boarding pass and say goodbye. da fuck !? anyways , im out. love and rockets.