Diary Of A Fat Girl - unhappy days

- the weight went up -
i had officially gotten down 20 pounds, to 165. and then i went back up. i was away from the house for two weeks, not eating so well, and not working out at all. im not very happy to be honest. this means a lot a lot a lot of work. im at 172, but im on my period so i am bloated. doesn't matter, i've got to do this. i've decided that for the rest of the week, no carbs, until friday night when we go out for my mums bday supper; then i can eat whatever is being served, but for the rest of the week no carbs.
i needed to write it down here, so that i can hold myself accountable next week. i'm gona come back to writing each week on my progress, that seemed to have helped. I'm not happy with my lack of progress, but I know I am slowly getting there. time to go big or go home. so this week i need to double down on working out, which proves to be a bust so far because everyone is always in the basement. im hoping i can un-lazy myself and wake up early tomorrow morning to workout... i doubt i will. i'm hoping soon my sister will be out of the basement... i wont go to sleep tonight without working out thats a promise to myself that i'm making.
i appologize for the lack of organization on this post, im honestly having a BLEH evening, and feel very melancholy and lifeless. usually i have a better more fun emotion towards the day, but it seems tonight is a more relaxed and quiet time for myself, thats okay though i don't



uhh guys i wrote this like two weeks ago and never posted it so wooooops here

My Daily Routine - poemsbyjus

sorry its only been poems lately, my inspiration is all over the place, i miss someone dearly and it hurts my heart, so all i can write is poetry... xo

when im feeling down,
because i don't have you,
i think about what i miss,
and heres what i do:
                                       
when i wake up in the morning,
i wish to see your face,
it would make my world,
a much better place.

when i cook myself food,
i miss your big smile,
saying "oh you're so good to me"   
haven't heard that in a while.   

when im at school,
i miss your big brain,
youd always teach me new things,
an intellectual gain.

when i go out with friends,
i miss holding your hand,
when youd show me off,
like your favorite brand.

when i lay awake at night,
i miss when we talked,
wed spend hours together,
we were sealed with a lock

when i sleep and i dream,
you come back to me,
and just to be together,
wed run away, yes we'd flee.

when i wake up in the morning,
the routine will re-start,
i think about you all day,
wishing youd never depart.

and thats pretty much it,
as if from a movie, a scene,
just like a broken record,
you're my daily routine.