Sorry I've not posted in a while, but I doubt you guys are "crying" about it haha.
So last night I did something truly inspiring to myself. Because I am off to Concordia (University) in the fall, and my laptop is a mess of viruses, crappy battery, and just old as fuuuuck, I decided to go ahead and buy a new laptop either this or next week, because man, I deserve something nice and new :P
Because I made this decision, I wanted to clear out a lot of things on my computer first, I don't want to get all those viruses, plus I had a lot of useless documents, or meme pictures, stupid things saved on my computer. As I started deleting the things I'd never need, I saw the things I didn't want, all the pictures from high school -where I was massively bullied by my "so called" friends- and pictures of my early days in camp, pictures with girls who decided one day they hated me and never wanted to see me again, pictures with now enemies, for no reason whatsoever, oh and there were so many damn selfies' I didn't even know how to handle that part it took hours to delete all of that. I decided it was time to leave that crummy past behind (besides pictures I loved of childhood, and pictures that meant something to me) and I deleted it all. over 10,000 pictures. As I watched the popup window on my screen say "Deleting", for a fleeting moment, it felt as though I was actually deleting my past, and that it had never happened, all that was left was the good moments, and who I am today. And guess what? I was happy. I was really happy to get rid of all that crap.
Now, I guess you can say I regret it. I really don't regret it much, but everything I got rid of, makes me who I am today. It's not the pictures, It's the idea that I wanted to delete my past, and I was regretting big parts of my life. But the thing is, I don't regret my life, I don't regret the friendships I had, even if they turned out lousy, because I always learnt something. I don't regret high school (although I definitely regret some parts of it) because I learn't to be strong, it was one of my bravest moments in my life so far. I don't regret cute pictures with ex boyfriends that now live in my little recycling bin, because without those ex's, I wouldn't be with the man I am today.
I never wanted to be a girl who lived with regrets. So I'm really trying to find the good in every mistake I've made. It's hard, but it's really worth it, because I feel a lot happier with who I am today knowing the crap I had to get here. But here I am, clicking not "restore" but "empty" on my recycling bin, because I'll never forget those moments, but I am deleting those useless pictures, to make room for new and better memories I wont have to delete.
Love you forever blog, even if I don't write often, you're always there for me <3 p="">
