hello fellow readers who exist only in my dreams,
today is a special blog, cause its the first i`ve written in a while, also its on a french keyboard so its really special cause i barely know how to use it. no matter. the other reason its special, is cause this keyboard is from my boyfriends computer, which means im at his house, reporting live on the scene from the home of my lover boy ;)
anyways, he`s out at a refferee meeting and i wanted to write because it feels like ages since i`ve said something that has had a lot of meaning to me and that inspired me to write about.
I`ve been observing a lot lately, for some sort of inspiration to write, but i`ve found almost none. then it hit me.
this had never really happened, or maybe it has an i didnt notice till 2013, but as i sit on my public transports (bus, metro, train, walking, anything really) I find that men are really starting to be less shy. I`ve never been one to toot my own horn and be like ``yea i get hit on always`` but seriously, as soon as 2013 started, i`ve noticed a lot of men approached me to talk or something.
now, im not going to take a feminist `hes forsure going to rape me` stance on it, but at first i was quite frightened by it. You know, just 18 years old walking around alone or bussing alone and all the sudden some dude you`ve never seen (usually not even a cute guy) just starts to talk to you. Your first instinct is to run away as soon as you can. Ive started to feel comfort in numbers, as in being hit on in a bus is no big deal if the bus is full of people. This is how i was at the start, nervous, always looking around, vulnerable. The funny thing is, the more comfortable I got with stm, the more comfortable I was with myself.
Let me give you an example: you know when you first start off taking public transport alone, and you`re clutching your bag for dear life (i see so many people who still do this) and every strange face you stare at just in case there is any suspicious movements... well as that started to seize in me, and i started to just not care about whats around me (still being observant for my own sake, but not the observant that makes you look scared for your life) i just was feeling comfortable with people whom i didn`t know around me and stuff.
Now, people come hit on me randomly, and before i freak out, i assess the situation.
how many people are around
how creepy does this person look (yea i know its childish to say but its the truth)
how long till i get to my stop
things like that help me assess what im going to do.
the thing is, which some people dont understand, is that sometimes you gotta just trust that people have good intentions, and aren`t going to rape you, theyre just people. The more comfortable I am with myself, the more comfortable I am with other people in general. Im not afraid to ask for help if I need it, and Im not afraid of someone who just wants to talk to me.
some guy on my bus walked up to me the other day and just started talking to me. I had seen him on my bus a million times and from the conversations ive heard, the guy was a total tool, but he came up to me and was talking to me as if we were friends forever, and it was totally normal to approach someone on the bus. So we talked, the whole bus way and at my stop I said bye and he did too. and now whenever I see him on the bus, we just casually talk. I`m not about to hangout with him, but its nice to have someone to speak to. I barely even know the guys name but casual conversation never hurt anybody.
another instance is when I was on the bus to the mall from school and i almost fell onto some random girl and i appologized and she was like `so how are you` and i assumed she knew me from a class or something (i dont notice people in class but a lot of them seem to know who i am) and she just talked to me for this entire 25 minute bus ride and when she was getting off a stop before the mall, she said `oh by the way im (insert name here)` and i, flabbergasted as i was, replied `my name is justine, nice to have met you` and she thanked me for talking to her on the bus. I got off and people that I knew were like `did you know that chick` and i was just like nope.
All in all, people are quite strange, and as much as we frown upon random people talking to us in the public transport, I give them lots of respect because I wouldn`t have the guts to approach someone I thought was good looking, and think about it, people meet that way all the time, can`t blame them for trying to meet you...
so thats all for today, feels good to be writing again thats forsure, next week (if im lucky) i`ll have a new observation for you guys, and good news about my marks in school (fingers crossed) and maybe a new couple of jobs! (fingers crossed)
you are all beautiful creatures of the earth.
love, jus ;)
