he was right, and now he is out of my life for good. forever it seems.
he believed in me, he tried to help me, and i pushed back, i said that i was done getting hurt and that i would be fine on my own without him, but im not. im not okay.
my heart? its broken into a million pieces. and you know, it wasnt because of love, this isn't a love issue with a stupid boyfriend who did something stupid.. this isnt about love, this is about people in general.
ive always been a positive person, until the big mess of being bullied, then i became a pessimist in training. slowly hating everything around me.. i used to have so much faith in people but they ruined it! people made themselves look stupid. and im embarrassed to be a part of humanity.
im embarrassed to have said and done the things i've said and done.
let me just say to him, you were right. people are dicks.
i am left here, not sure who is who in my life, not sure who to trust and who to blow off. who talks about me behind my back and who is friend enough to talk to my damn face. who really has feelings, and who fakes the emotions just cause they feel bad for me.
im left in a puddle of my own attempts for everyone to be satisfied, when I myself was dissatisfied with who i am. so i want him to know that he was right, not about everything, but about most of it.
this is a shitty blog post. so dont try to bitch me out about what i write, because if you hate it, dont read it.
good day.
