Current weight: too scared to check
but i will tomorrow... then ill come write. TOMORROW IS WEDNESDAY GIVE ME A BREAK
so i have been drinking, not now, but this week. and i will tomorrow i guess since its new years eve the most overrated night. nope im just saying that cause my bae is out of town so at midnight i have to kiss a picture of him or be way less crazy and just text him happy new years while he's partying it up in LA and im playing with my friends cat and getting sexy allergic reactions. the only thing that makes me feel better about knowing i wont get a new years midnight kiss, is knowing he wont either and that at that one moment, he'll be thinking of me. and i'll be thinking of him. and thats so fucking romantic like we're in different countries but were still in eachothers hearts and shit. naaahhh ima fucking paaarrrtay. this is the worst post ive ever had.
my brain feels like this today. all over the place. im unsure if this is even a "diary of a fat girl" entry.
ive eaten like a piggly this week. im not excited to check my weight. since my last entry, ive worked out once or twice. but the twice part was like twenty mins so it doesnt even count. tomorrow i should exercise... way to have a new years resolution broken before the new year even starts.
my new years GOAL, not resolution; is to be able to upload a bikini pic on fb (im such a dirty slut) before the snow is away. i dont care how cold how stupid how whatever i look. i wanna show the world i am ready for bikini season i have my new attitude my new body and happiness, and i wanna do it standing outside in the fucking cold-ass weather and get a god damn cold i dont care ill be too HOT to get cold anyways OHHHHHH burnnnn but still tho thats what i want so badly. and i dont have much time since mtl snow is nowhere to be found as of last week :p
okay thats my post for now, ill post again tomorrow maybe i dunno maybe haha what i dunno what am i writing fuck ahhh my bbrain haha what oh i dont know.
okay, goodnight then people because i shouldnt be awake with a brain this cluttered..
oh guys ill leave you with this:
MEDITATE. omg pls do it. its the best fjsinvjekadnvjkdnviudnv like i didnt do it for the beginning of the week, then around christmas i was having like a panic cause i couldnt sleep couldnt think and i usually go for guided meditation but i had no wifi, so i actually sang to myself for soothing music, and meditated. it was absolutely amazing really helped me relax all of my stress and anger into a nice calming feeling. okay. well wether it be guided or on your own, meditation can help anything. there are meditation mantras to help all of the aspects of your life. there are temples in your mind you can go to and visit parts of yourself you didnt even know existed, and you can heal them. thats my piece.
NAMASTEEEE my lovessssss
