i wish i admired myself in the mirror every day, no matter how bad i looked.
i wish i was able to tell myself that i am amazing and that nobody could change me.
i wish i could look at myself and say that im beautiful and that nobody can tell me otherwise.
sadly, i cant do that, and thats what i have to deal with.
its funny, because i used to be able to let any insult slide, and even though i was always sensitive, it was towards others, and anything that anyone said, didnt matter, because i had an amazing self confidence and that stuff never mattered.
then, when i hit high school, the people got meaner, and much more mature. i had always been very immature and i still am, and i was bad with first impressions and i didnt have control over myself and what i did and said.
i realized that people called me weird in a bad way. people didn't want to associate with me because i was immature and strange, so i changed myself..
i remember when insults never hurt me, and i miss that part of me.
i remember when recently i had a terribly low self esteem, and i would hate myself for reasons even i didnt know or understand. i just knew i wasnt fit out for this world, and nobody wanted me here anyways.
its funny how one can experience so much and survive it. no, i didnt have a cancer or something majour and extreme, but the little things piled up into bigger things, and i feel like a true survivor right now for still enduring them.
now, i dont mind being insulted very much. i know that certain people just arn't worth the trouble of feeling bad for myself. i love myself, but i still get effected by the people around me.
i think that everyone is immature and childish. people are pigs sometimes, and they dont care about anyone but themselves, but i guess its good to be selfish sometimes, because then you develop a sence of love for yourself.
My name is justine frankel, and i think i love myself.
i think im pretty. i think that im funny. i think im a good friend, and allthough i can have a big mouth sometimes, i can keep a secret really well. i am a bit of a freak and i get overly excited sometimes, but i can keep my cool when i need to. i can be really sensitive and i cry a bunch. I love a lot, but i hate when people i love hurt me, all of the others mean nothing to me, because they dont love themselves enough to be nicer to others.
we should all learn to love a little.
